Only Love Remains

On letting Go of Death With Love
Noureen Ben Halim

As human beings, it is crucial for us to be able to connect with others. The sense of touch, sight, and the ability to hear someone, all make the world seem to shine 1000 times brighter when we are with someone we care about. As human beings, love is an emotion that is imprinted in us since the day we are born. Love is not one thing, but instead, a million different emotions at once. It depends on the amount of three things: intimacy, passion, and commitment. It can be a satisfying feeling deep within someone’s heart, or the thing that gets us through yet another day. But what if that love is lost? What then?

People can be attached to someone psychologically. A teenager for example can be dependent on their close friends. To them, these people are their backbone, getting them through tough situations, putting a smile on their face when they need it, and loving them for who they are. And as teenagers, our feelings are intensified and changing all the time. So naturally, when we lose someone that we care about, things start to look like they will never take a turn for the better. A friend moving away can cause feelings of loneliness and despair.

Death is another type of loss, and when it happens to someone you care about, you can really become vulnerable and weak. There are five stages of grief, which people take in differently. They are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. For some, the shock can be so strong that they are in denial of everything. For others, depression sinks in immediately and the person loses hope. People often choose to be alone after a death or a loss. Teenagers' school progress can decline, and they may start to care less and less about what mattered before.

Although it may seem like nothing can be done to help a person who is suffering and grieving, there are small things that can be done. First of all, we must recognize that change is a part of life’s cycle. Helping someone realize this may show them that it is only ordinary to love and to lose. Reminding them of the good times they shared with the deceased will make them stronger. On the other hand, trying to shift their focus will only make the grief come back sooner, and come back even stronger. People, who have lost a loved one, need to be surrounded by others who they know can support them, be a shoulder for them to cry on, and most importantly just listen and be there.